


Untitled tumblr fic

by Lancinate



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Implied embarrassing alternate uses for Thor's hammer, M/M, mention of open relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-19
Updated: 2014-07-19
Packaged: 2018-02-09 11:18:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1980939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lancinate/pseuds/Lancinate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Rhodey are all dressed up for a date night, when Steve and Clint show up. Tony wants to make them leave because Rhodey looks really, really good in that suit, but Rhodey's too polite to let him.</p><p>Aka, an interpretation for that Age of Ultron pic that's been going around on Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untitled tumblr fic

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [greatmoustachesploosh](http://greatmoustachesploosh.tumblr.com/) ([greatbriton](http://archiveofourown.org/users/greatbriton/) on AO3) for the idea. The picture + other influencing info from [novacorps](http://novacorps.tumblr.com/), and possibly an explanation on why I'm so fixated on Rhodey's suit can be found [at the tumblr post this is inspired by](http://greatmoustachesploosh.tumblr.com/post/91994897342/novacorps-novacorps-can-we-talk-about-how)
> 
> I didn't want the number of characters to get away from me so I ~~ignored~~ creatively wrote around the people who are implied to be in that picture, and only included the ones who actually are.

They’re enjoying a night in, really checking all of the boxes – candles, beer, chinese takeout, and Rhodey’s in that suit that Tony can’t stand, at all, because it just makes him want to take it off of him, but then if he takes it off of him he’s not in it anymore. But if he doesn’t take it off of him he has to send it to the dry cleaner before Rhodey can wear it again and – well, there’s just really no winning with that suit. Everything about it is perfect.

Everything about this isn’t exactly perfect, isn’t exactly a fancy private rooftop dinner with a personal violinist and food sent up from a five star restaurant but it’s nice anyway. Casual nice. Taking a few hours for themselves in the midst of a busy schedule nice.

“Sirs, you have visitors.”

Tony frowns. “I’m pretty sure we don’t.”

“Show us the feed, Jarvis,” Rhodey says, wiping the corner of his already spotless mouth with his napkin.

It’s Clint, and Steve. Probably a bit tipsy Clint and, judging from his body language and the fact that he’d once told Tony he was incapable of getting drunk, stone cold sober Steve.

Tony walks over to his command center, taking his time, and Rhodey follows. “Well this is a surprise,” he says. His voice is neutral, completely, but Rhodey still gives him a disapproving look.

“We got ditched on your side of town,” Clint says. “Any chance we could come have a few drinks with you?”

“Sorry, bad time, can’t help you,” Tony says, and that would be it, except that Rhodey has disconnected the speaker system.

“How much of that did they hear? I think sorry gets the point across, right?”

“They said they’re stranded here.”

“So I’ll buy them a cab.”

“They’re our friends. It’s rude to just kick turn them away.”

“It’s rude to show up when I could be fucking you,” Tony says. “That’s why you call ahead.”

“But we’re not fucking,” Rhodey says. “And I like them. There’s no reason we can’t have a date night tomorrow instead.”

“I like them too,” Tony says. “During normal consulting hours, every other Wednesday from 8am to 4pm.”

“You know every time you say that you change the hours, right?”

Tony shrugs and lunges for the speaker, but Rhodey’s a little quicker. “Sorry about the delay, we had some technical issues,” he says, his hand wrapped over Tony’s mouth, as Tony makes a few futile grunts. “We’ll buzz you up.”

He lets Tony go and kisses him on the temple. “Sorry,” he says. “Had to be done.”

Tony just crosses his arms and sulks, a little. “I can’t believe you told them we were having technical issues. I _don’t_ have technical issues.”

“We’re not fucking –”

“I know,” Tony says, “you don’t have to remind me.”

“–For like three days if you’re not on your best behavior.”

“I think technically a case could be made that it is my best behavior to just tell them to leave.”

Rhodey pulls him close, kissing him once and then patting him on the back. “I know you can do it, babe,” he whispers, and Tony rolls his eyes and pushes him off.

“Only for you.”

Rhodey smiles.

“But you owe me.”

“For having your friends over?”

“Okay, well, when you say it like that –”

He’s cut off by the elevator, and so he grabs a beer and tries to look like they’re just… hanging out. That’s what the Avengers think they do, right? Hang out?

They walk out of the elevator, Clint looking very comfortable, Steve a little more subdued. Spot on about the drunkenness, then.

He lets Rhodey handle the host duties. Rhodey’s great at that. All welcoming, and nice, and... shit. Genuinely, too. It’s a real turn on.

Steve takes the offered spot on the couch and Clint perches next to him. Tony lingers next to Rhodey, kind of wanting to lean against him. Because then they might get the idea. That he’s busy.

“Interesting time to stop by, you know, Saturday, big _date night_ ,” Tony says, as Rhodey shoots him a very strong disapproving look.

“I’m not seeing anyone,” Clint says. “How about you, Steve? Tasha set you up with anyone yet?”

Steve shakes his head. “I’m not looking right now,” he says. “Need some time alone.”

“Didn’t get enough of that the last 70 years?” 

Okay, he can see why that might be antagonistic. That doesn’t mean Rhodey needs to give him that look again. 

Steve just smiles and shakes his head.

“I like the candles,” Clint says. “Makes it feel really homey in here. Y’know, nice counterpoint to all the chrome and glass.”

Tony happens to like chrome and glass, but that isn’t the point. “They’re for special occasions.”

Steve perks up at that. “What’s the special occasion?”

Tony figures that answering does not fall under Rhodey’s idea of his best behavior, so he just shrugs. “Saturday night?”

Rhodey smiles. “Come on, sit down.”

They don’t say anything as he sits down next to Rhodey. Would climb on top of him but it’s a very nice suit, and Rhodey gets a little bit peeved at some of the things Tony tends to do to his nice suits.

Clint frowns. “Why do you have Thor’s hammer?”

“It’s a replica,” Tony says.

“Yes, Tony,” Rhodey says, with an infuriatingly blank look on his face. “Why _do_ you have a replica of Thor’s hammer?”

He sounds for all of the world like he’s completely innocent and uninformed and Tony could kill him right now, really, he could.

“It’s a long story.”

“We have time.”

“I’m analyzing it,” Tony says.

“Analyzing it for what?”

“Aerodynamic properties,” he decides, nudging Rhodey in the ribs to let him know that it’s very much okay to end this line of questioning now.

Steve frowns. “Is a replica really going to give you the right data?”

Tony shrug. “No, but, what can you do? Big guy loves his hammer.”

“Yes he does,” Rhodey says, and oh dear god, by replica Thor’s hammer, he is going to pay for that.

Clint shifts the conversation and Tony’s glad for that. Lets him go on about their night – which is actually pretty entertaining, but then Rhodey’s still in this suit and Tony’s still busy weighing the merits of leaving it on versus the merits of taking it off.

He keeps offering them alcohol. Well, offering Clint alcohol. If he gets him drunk enough fast enough he’ll need to sleep it off, soon, and maybe Steve will decide that he’s an old man who can be tired this early, and then Tony can get back to this suit dilemma.

It doesn’t seem to be going that way, as the conversation winds through topics. He participates, sometimes. Rhodey does a lot. He’s very good with people, Tony loves that about him. Just like, not now.

He puts an arm around Rhodey, casual. That’s gotta tip something off.

“So, you guys see any good TV lately?”

That’s it. That’s the last straw. Not that there have been many, but god, if they’re not going to notice that he’s practically falling all over the man, well.

He knows Rhodey won’t withhold sex for three days. Thirty minutes, maybe. Plus a few exasperated eye rolls and some pointed comments about how it would be nice, for once, to have a normal evening with friends because god knows they hardly ever do that.

So he kisses him, and Rhodey for all of his surprise doesn’t quite stop him, and ta-da, he has done it. 

Steve squirms a bit in his seat. “Are we.. interrupting something?”

“Yes,” Tony says, at the exact same moment that Rhodey says a forceful “No.”

“Date night, if you must know,” Tony says, which might be adding a few hours to that ‘no sex’ thing.

“You two are together?”

That’s a tandem yes. The perils of flying under the radar.

Clint frowns. “How long?”

“15 years.”

Tony shakes his head. “More than that.”

Rhodey rolls his eyes. “Hooking up doesn’t count as being together.”

“Okay, fine,” Tony says. “Fifteen to twenty something.”

“It’s an open relationship,” Rhodey adds, probably spurred by the openly incredulous looks on Steve and Clint’s faces.

Tony sighs. “You don’t have to say that every single time.”

“Well, it sounds unrealistic otherwise.”

“How does it sound unrealistic?”

Rhodey grins. “Uh, because you sleep with everyone you meet?”

That gets a good smile out of Steve, but Clint’s still sitting there looking perplexed.

“Do you have a problem with something?”

He blinks, considers Tony’s question. “No, I - well, yeah. I mean, you. Are in a long term, stable relationship. So I guess my problem is what am _I_ doing with my life.”

Steve grins, nods. “He’s got a point,” he says. “I mean, you’re not the picture of long term commitment.”

“He does _not_ have a point,” Tony says, indignant, as Rhodey pats him soothingly on the shoulder.

“No, he kind of does.” Rhodey adds a quick kiss to Tony’s cheek, a somewhat futile attempt at mollifying him.

“You’re supposed to be sticking up for me here,” Tony says, pouting, and Rhodey just grins.

There’s a few moments of silence, which is comfortable and companionable for Tony, and, judging by how he lets it stretch on, is for Rhodey as well. 

Then Clint start squirming and it’s clear that this isn’t something that has spread to the whole group.

“We didn’t mean to interrupt anything,” Steve says, and Clint nods. “So we’ll just head out now.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Rhodey says, but they’re both just looking at Tony.

And that is what Tony has wanted from the get go, but somehow now that they’re talking about him and Rhodey together, he kind of doesn't want that. So sue him, maybe he wants an audience. Or maybe he just likes this being together, with other people. God knows they don’t do it often enough.

“No, no, stay,” he says. “Really. We’re glad you’re here.” 

Steve seems a little hesitant, already standing, downing the rest of the beer that he’s clearly drinking just to be polite.

“If he’s saying it he means it,” Rhodey says, giving him a little squeeze. “He didn’t have to be an ass about it first, but hey, what can you do?”

Tony rolls his eyes, but he does feel a little bad. Maybe.

“We really didn’t mean to interrupt anything. We would’ve never come up if you just told us –”

“We want you here.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely,” Tony says, giving Rhodey another little look, to remind him how much he’s making up for this later - because, well, as far as Rhodey knows, he’s still doing this under duress. “But we _are_ going to kick your asses at beer pong.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting this unedited (beyond the twice-over I gave it before putting in on Tumblr) mostly because if I read it again I'll probably die of embarrassment for having posted it, and if I survive I'll wind up sitting on it for weeks then decide to just let it rot in my WIP folder. I do really always appreciate constructive criticism, but in this situation I'm kinda sensitive. So like, if you could sandwich any criticism between vaguely compliment-like phrases, that'd be great. Preferably complimentary things that you could reasonably come up with from reading this fic, but my hair does look really great right now, so that's a freebie.


End file.
